First day of writing the book 'How to NOT have Sex Like a Zombie'

Word: 1,754
Time: 9am - 10:30am
Mood: upbeat
Impression: A little vulgar

So I've done it. After telling myself that I wouldn't write another novel, I'm writing another novel. Once again I'm going to try and write something that is intentionally funny. My last book "Happiness Thru the Art of... Penis Enlargement" turned out to be even funnier than I thought. I really didn't expect the response that I had. I really didn't think that it was that consistently funny. But hey, thank god other people did.

Now as for this book, I am at a different stage of life not than back then. First off, I don't have as much time to write as I did last time. Now I can only fit in writing time between days off. We will see how long this takes me.

Second, mentally I'm in a much different place this time. When I wrote the last book I was seeing 2 therapists because apparently I was depressed. I was what they termed a 'high functioning depressed person'. High functioning indeed. I wrote 3 books during that supposed depression. Whatever!

Now I'm seeing no therapist, but I am writing this book about how to have better sex while being celibate (that includes no masturbation). And I will tell you now, this fucking celibate shit is screwing with my fucking mind! I'm so fuckin' tense! At times if feel like I can punch through a wall and other times I feel like curling up like a ball and having any random stranger off the street come in and stroke my hair.

I'm celibate right now for a few reasons, but one of which is that this book is about a guy that doesn't know he's a zombie but does know that he's bad in bed. And the story follows the main character as he learns better sexual techniques while he comes to grips with being a zombie.

In my story zombies are a part of everyday society because the onset of zombie-ism takes a while and is slow. So after people find out they have it, it takes between months and years before it begins to show. But no matter when the effects start to show, they start having cravings to eat brains right away.

And since the main character does his best to fight the cravings, and since I am a "method" writer (like I was a "method" actor), I'm being celibate to understand what it's like to have overwhelming cravings that you aren't allowing yourself to satisfy. And if I could just learn to deal with the fact that every minute that I don't spend either talking, playing racquetball or with friends I'm incredible angry, I'll be fine.

Ok, so that's enough for day one. I will probably be able to write tomorrow because I haven't been called in for work yet. I am now working as an extra on TV shows, so I don't find out if I'm working until late in the day.

Til tomorrow!